Pink

Gracie had the idea to dye her hair pink awhile ago.  We talked about pink highlights and asked about it at the last haircut.  Yesterday, we got it done.  I think it looks so cute.   She easily agreed to let me photograph her with her pink hair, so that's a sign to me that she really likes it, too.

This is a very typical Grace look.  

 Happily, this is also a very typical Gracie look.

After the hair appointment, Grace and I went to Chili's for dinner.  The waitress complimented her hair and cooed over it.  Then, she asked me: "It's not permanent, though, is it?"  Me: "Yeah.  It will maybe fade a bit and then grow out."  Waitress: "But it's not, like, real dye, right?"  Me: "Yeah, real dye."  Waitress: "But it's not PERMANENT dye?"  Me (in my head): "You do know that hair is not permanent, right?  We grow more, new hair all the time, yes?"  Jeesh.


Gracie is funny about enthusiasm and excitement. Things she is very excited about always seem to end in tears. I can relate to the stress of anticipation and that anti-climactic, "what now?" feeling when something you have been waiting for finally happens. That seems to be a daily struggle for Grace. My Christmas-morning level of anticipation/let down seems to mirror her this-grilled-cheese-sandwich-is-going-to-taste-so-good level of anticipation/let down. It's a tough way to go through life. It's like the things she is most happy and excited about are the hardest for her to process emotionally. And then unfortunately for all of us she tends to lash out and find fault and get stuck on details and things that she can't control/change.  We are trying to coach her and help her learn to navigate the complex challenges of growing up and emotional maturity. The blind leading the blind perhaps? Seriously - I adore my little middle daughter and all of her enigmatic intensity and I look forward to seeing where her passionate little personality takes her in life.  (I sometimes actively remind myself of this when dealing with the wailing and the gnashing of teeth).

The punchline of this story - after almost 2 hours of sitting and stripping and rinsing and cutting and blowing and foiling and dying and sitting and rinsing, when the foils came out and she saw the big reveal, Grace burst into tears.  Everyone in the salon (who had been getting a big kick out of this little girl getting her hair done alongside all the little old ladies that day) froze.   I gave Gracie a hug (though space it usually the best thing to give her at these moments) and I sort of quietly explained how it can be stressful when you are so excited about something, and Laura the stylist was super cool about it.  I was very proud of Grace and how quickly she got herself back together (when she was younger it could take awhile) and by the time we left a few minutes later she was smiling and primping and skipping.  She was excited to go to school and show her teacher and her friends.

Spring

These are from a few weeks ago, when we had a little stretch of spring-like days.  We bought this little blue bike for Charlotte when she was 2.  Eli liked riding on it, but notice how his feet never touch the pedals.

Charlotte gave it a shot riding without training wheels.  She'll get it this summer.

Louisa

Back in Feb. we visited Alex and Louisa for a few days.  It was great to see them.  The cousins really seemed to pick up playing as if it hadn't been 2 months since they had seen each other.  That made me very happy. 

Louisa came over to swim in our hotel pool one morning. 

The quality of these pictures is really quite lousy (but the girls are wonderful!).  I did a stupid thing.  The light in the pool area was beautiful so I wanted to take some pictures.  I went and got my camera which had been in my car overnight.  I brought it in from the dry, 20-something degree air directly into the very humid, 80-something degree pool room.  It fogged up like I have never seen before.  The whole camera and lens was literally sweating streams of water running down the sides.  As I thought to myself, "I really shouldn't turn it on until it dries out", my impatience overcame me and I flicked the switch.  Nice.  Luckily, it didn't short or anything from being turned on while wet and the glass eventually unfogged with no lasting water marks on the inside or anything.  Alot of these are out of focus or still have that haziness from the fog, though.  Alex's friend who is a professional photographer/videographer was very politely mortified by my careless treatment of my equipment.  As she is reading this, my friend Doni is probably gasping as well. 

The girls started playing this jumping game...

This series tells a great story about Gracie. 

1.)  Girls ready to jump.  Grace:  Um, Charlotte, isn't it my turn to be in the middle?

2.) Girls jumping.  Well, two of them anyway.



3.)  Louisa and Charlotte laughing it up.  Grace looks a little put out.

4.)  Hands on her hips, in classic Gracie form.  The kid misses out on stuff all the time because she is hung up on not getting her way about one irrelevant thing after another.  I haven't gotten through to her that it's a tough way to go through life.   

But here's my girl.  I adore her.

 This series is sort of a self portrait.  Gracie was teasing me and jumping up and down on the chair and I saw myself in the mirror as she dropped down out of sight.  I intentionally shot it so I was in focus.  I like it.  I think a good self-portrait is one with me photographing my kids.  I see myself in the pictures that I take of them.   I was reading a few posts down the other day when showing the blog on my phone to a friend.  I noticed that I described the picture of Gracie in the tutu trying to contain a giggle as "this is me trying to make her laugh".  I didn't write it that way intentionally, but it is true that when I look at that picture I see Gracie and her cute smile trying to come thruogh and I also see me behind the camera and hear myself saying goofy things and trying to get her to laugh.  Because she thought she looked good posing for me all serious and model-y and I think she's beautiful when she laughs.   I hope someday my children see the pictures that I took of them as a nice record of them growing up and also as a story of how much their mother loved them and thought everything about them was beautiful.

The Baby

We still call Eli, "the Baby".  Maybe sometime that will start to bug him.  For now, I am glad he doesn't mind.

Eli talks more and more, but still not always when we want him to.  He's a funny little guy.  He likes when I toss him high and then he lands on the mattress in my studio.  He sits up and says, "I'm okay, Mommy!"  Derek had never heard him say that, and was standing in my studio when Eli rolled off the mattress in an odd way and hit his head on the floor.  Derek said, "are you okay?" and Eli came right back with, "I'm okay, Daddy!" and we laughed.  Eli loves to start sentences with, "hey look...!"  My day starts almost every morning with the sound of padded footsteps, the door banging open and a little voice saying, "hey look!  There's Mommy!" 

Here he is trying to escape the camera by heading in the house the other day.

My Nephew

I meant to post this awhile ago and saved it as a draft while I checked with Shawn to make sure it was okay, and then I haven't been back to it...

I had the chance to watch Shawn play hockey the other night, and although I messed up the times and missed some of the game, I really enjoyed it.  Here are some shots of him in action.

#47

Two years ago, I posted a list of 45 things that make the man that I married such an amazing guy.  Last year on his birthday I added one more.  To continue the trend..

47.)  You don't cry over spilt milk (literally or figuratively).  This week I made a stupid mistake.  I spent money on something on-line and paid to have it shipped here, and then happened upon it locally and cheaper.  Grrr.  I was tired and grouchy and as I was driving home from the store I was mentally hollering at myself over the waste.  It bugged me.  I was embarrassed to come home and tell you about it.  In my head, I told myself what I knew you were going to say.  No big deal.  It happens.  Don't worry about it.  At risk of sounding cheesy, I actually heard your voice in my head saying those things to me.  And I truly felt better, right then.  Both because you're right - it's not a big deal.  And because I know you love me and you don't want me to feel bad and you have this indefatigable confidence in me and in us, no matter what, that after almost 11 years continues to astonish me.  You bring a Zen-like, self-assured, steady and calm element to my life, Derek.  Thank you.

P.S. - In addition to not crying over spilt milk, I could add that you have been known on occassion to, say, wipe up spilt milk with your sock and leave the sticky spot for me to discover when I step on it.  But it's not like that bothers me or anything.  ;)

More family pictures coming soon...

Hi there

Here's a picture of Eli that I took yesterday.  When I uploaded it just now, I realized it has been over a month since I took a single picture of the kids.  Oh well.

This image illustrates an interesting point about the color of light, I think.  When I was getting my hair cut the other day, I was talking with the stylist about light and how different sources have different colors.  She asked about mixing natural light with indoor artificial light and how it would change, say, the way hair colors looked, for mixing the color just right.  It does.  This picture was lit half by the cool/blue outside light coming from the sliding door (main light - blue sky) and half from the warm/yellow light from the kitchen light (main light - tungsten bulb).  See the big difference on each side of his face?  Not just in the shadow, where the cast is really noticable.  Compare the cheek right next to his nose on each side.  Big difference.  I didn't fix it becuase this is kind of a throwaway little shot.  I thought it was interesting, anyway.

Kat came over and we asked her to give Eli a hug.  Eli wasn't feeling the love.  These two have an interesting relationship.  At the moment, it is largely contentious.  I think Kat sees him as someone smaller than she is so she can try out being the boss of someone a bit, since compared to all of her other cousins she is always the littlest one.  Eli isn't particularly social at his best moment, and he doesn't respond well to someone invading his personal space. I have high hopes for a great friendship for these two little guys in the future.

Ballerina

This is the face Gracie makes when you point the camera at her.  She does it very purposefully.

This is me trying to make her laugh.  Sometimes I can get her to break out in a big grin.  Not this time.  She just. barely. contained. it.

I did get her to spin for me, though.