Puzzle

It's been a long week of evaluations for Eli, as the school district reevaluates him to determine what speech and other services he will receive after he turns 3.  He was stressed and miserable during most of it and it didn't go very well.  We knew that it wouldn't.  We have a pretty good expectation about what the reports will say, and while we don't really disagree with any of their points we still question how well the evaluations are capturing the whole picture of our little boy.  Is he on the road to an Autism spectrum type diagnosis?  Should we be pushing him harder out of his comfort zone during these formative early years?  Is he just free-spirited, self-directed and an introvert (qualities I can totally respect and which are certainly his birthright)?  Does he just need a little more time to work on developing his language and social/emotional skills?   Derek and I go back and forth on these and many other questions all the time.  I clearly see how he interacts (or how he doesn't interact, actually) with the evaluators as well as with family members and close friends, and absolutely not through any lack of their trying or reaching out to him.  Then I feel like I am trying hard to avoid sounding defensive when I say, "but you should see how he can be and what he can do."  It's not really defensiveness, I guess.  Mostly it's intense frustration at how badly I want everyone to be able to get to know the sweet, friendly, playful, affectionate little guy that Derek and I know and interact with every day.

 



I came home from a session this morning and filled up the remainder of my CF card with these shots taken in our family room.  I took 69 frames of Eli in about 7 minutes.  I edited 8 of them above, but here are all 69.  I am not sure how well the web size shows the details, but you can click on it for a larger version if you feel like it.  That's my boy.



Perfect

A slideshow from the beach in Florida.  I used one of my favorite songs (copyright gods, forgive me), which very much expresses how I feel about these four of my favorite people.  My sister commented on how close Charlotte and my mom are in height.  It really is remarkable.  Where did my baby go? 

That little box-surrounded-by-arrows icon in the lower right hand corner of the slideshow window makes the slideshow full screen if you click on it.  It's so small in the embedded window, I think.



A few more from Florida.   My girl Gracie.

Eli and Daddy in the pool.



Rainy Day

More of Eli.  I have to say, as much as this rain stinks it does make for good lighting - outside and in.

He was lining up Play Doh balls along the window sill.  He was very serious about it.

 

I think this one's my favorite.  SOmething about the way he is kneeling and you can see his whole body.

Derek always likes color better.

Porch light during a rainstorm

The light on the porch during the rain this afternoon was beautiful.  The little boy on the porch wasn't too hard on the eyes, either. 

He doesn't like to look at me with the camera anymore.  I was calling his name and making funny noises and you can tell from these that he wasn't really focusing on me.  I don't like the just-missed eye contact, but I kept these anyway.

Here is the real deal.  He's looking right at me because he's teasing Mama and he knows it.  Little stinker.

Here Eli is a few days ago watching TV in the family room.  His new favorite is Thomas the Train.  I don't understand the appeal, but he asks for it now every time.



First thing this morning, Eli came into the bedroom and climbed up on the bed with me.  He wanted me to wake up, and I was still trying to sleep a few more minutes.  He kept saying, "OK!  OK! You wake up now!"  His talking has come along way in the past few months.  He speaks in full sentences frequently, but he tends to use alot of canned phrases, repeating sentences that we say often word for word.  Neither Derek nor I can remember saying this to him (like when Derek gets him up in the morning), so I think he put it together on his own.  I realize he's almost 3 and still behind in his language, but this is great strides for him.

Mini Me

Awhile ago our family was standing around in the family room talking about something and Grace made a suggestion of what to do next - I have completely forgotten the context, but it was something that wasn't especially workable.  Charlotte wheeled around with this kind of bossy/didactic tone told Grace exactly why her plan was flawed.  I looked up and Derek and I locked eyes right at that moment and I said out loud to him what I knew he was thinking, "yeah, the kid does a pretty good impression of me." You probably had to be there but trust me, it was uncanny. 

It was not the first time or the last that I have been struck by watching Charlotte emulate me, often while talking to Grace or Eli or Kat.  Honestly, it's not always a reflection of myself that I find particularly flattering, but there it is.  She also loves to make detailed plans like I do and she and I have butted heads many times over our conflicting visions for some project or another.  Derek laughs about it and he is always the first to point out that she's just like me in these moments.  Then, I laugh too.  Sort of.  Through gritted teeth.

Eli isn't much into imitating others at all at this age, at least on purpose.  But I came upon him like this yesterday and went to grab the camera.  He's lying on the couch, looking at my phone and watching tv, in the spot and posture where I had just been a few minutes earlier.  Kid knows a good thing when he sees it.

Playing his Super Why game on the iPhone 

Glancing up to follow the action in Barney on tv 

Noticing the camera pointed at him.

Melting Mama's heart.

Pink

Gracie had the idea to dye her hair pink awhile ago.  We talked about pink highlights and asked about it at the last haircut.  Yesterday, we got it done.  I think it looks so cute.   She easily agreed to let me photograph her with her pink hair, so that's a sign to me that she really likes it, too.

This is a very typical Grace look.  

 Happily, this is also a very typical Gracie look.

After the hair appointment, Grace and I went to Chili's for dinner.  The waitress complimented her hair and cooed over it.  Then, she asked me: "It's not permanent, though, is it?"  Me: "Yeah.  It will maybe fade a bit and then grow out."  Waitress: "But it's not, like, real dye, right?"  Me: "Yeah, real dye."  Waitress: "But it's not PERMANENT dye?"  Me (in my head): "You do know that hair is not permanent, right?  We grow more, new hair all the time, yes?"  Jeesh.


Gracie is funny about enthusiasm and excitement. Things she is very excited about always seem to end in tears. I can relate to the stress of anticipation and that anti-climactic, "what now?" feeling when something you have been waiting for finally happens. That seems to be a daily struggle for Grace. My Christmas-morning level of anticipation/let down seems to mirror her this-grilled-cheese-sandwich-is-going-to-taste-so-good level of anticipation/let down. It's a tough way to go through life. It's like the things she is most happy and excited about are the hardest for her to process emotionally. And then unfortunately for all of us she tends to lash out and find fault and get stuck on details and things that she can't control/change.  We are trying to coach her and help her learn to navigate the complex challenges of growing up and emotional maturity. The blind leading the blind perhaps? Seriously - I adore my little middle daughter and all of her enigmatic intensity and I look forward to seeing where her passionate little personality takes her in life.  (I sometimes actively remind myself of this when dealing with the wailing and the gnashing of teeth).

The punchline of this story - after almost 2 hours of sitting and stripping and rinsing and cutting and blowing and foiling and dying and sitting and rinsing, when the foils came out and she saw the big reveal, Grace burst into tears.  Everyone in the salon (who had been getting a big kick out of this little girl getting her hair done alongside all the little old ladies that day) froze.   I gave Gracie a hug (though space it usually the best thing to give her at these moments) and I sort of quietly explained how it can be stressful when you are so excited about something, and Laura the stylist was super cool about it.  I was very proud of Grace and how quickly she got herself back together (when she was younger it could take awhile) and by the time we left a few minutes later she was smiling and primping and skipping.  She was excited to go to school and show her teacher and her friends.

Spring

These are from a few weeks ago, when we had a little stretch of spring-like days.  We bought this little blue bike for Charlotte when she was 2.  Eli liked riding on it, but notice how his feet never touch the pedals.

Charlotte gave it a shot riding without training wheels.  She'll get it this summer.